


This was Supposed to be Fun

by mewCoyote



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Mental Breakdown, Mind Control, Self-Harm, a small one but it's still stressful, but not actually it's body control because regent, if you ship them... sorry, sex is mentioned but it doesn't actually happen on screen fyi, they dont bang tho, they're not doing well rn, underage bc aisha is in fact 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29167467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewCoyote/pseuds/mewCoyote
Summary: It turns out that a couple of traumatized teenage capes aren't actually any good at communicating with each other.Or, Aisha and Alec fight over basically nothing.
Relationships: Alec | Regent/Aisha Laborn | Imp
Kudos: 2





	1. In Which "I Can't Live Without You" is Creepy as Hell

**Author's Note:**

> First published Worm fic wooo! I saw that Aisha and Alec were dating and my brain instantly jumped to angst because. Oh boy. That relationship just sounds like a dumpster fire waiting to happen. 
> 
> So here it is. Happening. 
> 
> Mind the tags, lovelies; Alec is more than a little disrespectful of boundaries here and chapter two will only get darker.

Aisha was exhausted. Some days were worse than others. Some days – most days, really – she felt on top of the world, reveling in her power.

But some days the weight of it all, the responsibility, it crushed her. Dragged her down until she couldn’t even enjoy the feeling of slipping in and out of knowledge, until she wanted to just leave on her power and curl up in a ball and get away from everything.

She still had a territory. She still had a city to take care of. She knows that.

She wouldn’t actually do that.

Still, she wanted to, as she walked back into the apartment she’d been staying in with Alec. Most days, she loved knowing that she’d come home to someone who noticed when she walked in the room, who gave her all the attention she could possibly want.

Today? Today she wanted space, but she also didn’t want to walk all the way back to her actual place. Didn’t want to deal with Brian looking at her all _knowingly_ , as if he actually understood anything. At least Alec didn’t pretend to understand.

She opened the door, and his head shot up. He reminded her more of a dog every day, it seemed like.

“Hey, Aisha.” Always Aisha when they were alone, held in his mouth like a favorite candy. “You look rough. Long day?”

She just nodded, walked past him to flop into an ugly armchair.

He got up, leaned against the armrest. “I could take your mind off it,” he offered.

Tempting, most days. She’d lost herself in him countless times. Nothing like being totally controlled to lift the weight of responsibility from your shoulders.

But this wasn’t most days, and there was no substitute for good old-fashioned moping.

“Pass,” she said, trying to sound light. It didn’t work.

He put a hand on her arm. “Or I could just hold you?”

Aisha stood up, jerked away from the touch. _Again?_ He’d been so clingy lately. It was one thing when they were sleeping, but he seemed to want to spend every possible moment hanging off her arm these days, and she needed a break. Maybe she’d sneak into hers and Brian’s apartment after all. Lock the door and let him figure out what that meant.

She walked to the door, opened it. “I’m leaving.”

She let go of the doorknob, turned back around. “You can’t go,” Alec said.

Angry, she flickered her power on and off, shrugging off his control. “You don’t get to decide that!”

“I need you, Aisha.”

She glares. “Do you have any idea how annoying that is? This was supposed to be _fun_ , Alec. Not a whole thing. Or did you forget that we aren’t dating?”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” he said, like some sort of soppy character in a romcom.

Aisha took a step back. He loved her? She’d thought this was just a fling that had gone on a little too long. But he loved her? That was not the point of this.

After all, she certainly didn’t love him back.

“Hell of a time to say _that_ for the first time,” she replied.

He stepped closer, closing the distance between them. “It’s true. I didn’t mean to but – I couldn’t help it. You’re too wonderful. Too beautiful. Too fucking funny. I couldn’t help but fall for you.” His breath was hot on her face like a wolf about to bite.

She ducked under his arms, pushed him aside, relieved that he let her. “Well, I don’t like you back. And I’m still leaving.” She started for the door again.

His voice stopped her. “Aisha. I can’t live without you.” Something in the tone, in the sheer desperation scared her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, mentally slipped on a mask. _Fuck_ , she thought. _Fuck fuck fuck._

She turned back around, face steady, voice calm. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

He bit his lip. That was a yes, and they both knew it.

“I’m staying. Don’t worry. Just- how about you make dinner and I can go take a shower? Something fancy, you haven’t cooked for me in a while.”

He hadn’t cooked for her in a while because she’d said it was too much like a date. But that wasn’t important right now, not to her. What was important was figuring this shit out.

He smiled at that – smiled, as if this whole situation wasn’t Slaughterhouse levels of fucked! – and kissed her cheek before heading into the kitchen.

She walked into the bathroom, locked the door, turned on the shower, and opened the window.

She needed to talk to Brian.


	2. Is it More or Less Creepy if it's Sincere?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two: Alec has a day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! Mental breakdown tag is gonna come in here. Alec is not having a good time here.

Alec reclined on his couch, flipping through pictures on his phone, a slight smile playing across his face. Aisha would be coming home soon – any minute, really – and he would get to see her again.

Aisha, the light of his life. His soulmate. His everything. He found her on his mind constantly these days, looked forward to her presence every moment he was away. Nothing else really mattered. He knew his territory was suffering for it, but frankly, he couldn’t give a damn. He just wanted to make her happy, to make her laugh, to lay in her arms for hours late at night.

He’d never been good at sleeping, but with her, he didn’t mind.

The door opened and he dropped his phone, sitting up to see her. “Hey, Aisha.” He loved her name – _Aisha Aisha Aisha_ – it was delicious in his mouth. A perfect name for his perfect queen.

His perfect queen looked tired. Human. He should have gone with her, found her, helped her. Too late now. He’d just have to help her relax. “You look rough,” he said. “Long day?”

She nodded, walked past him, ignored his open lap to sink into her favorite ugly armchair.

That was ok. He could pretend the rejection didn’t sting. He’d just come to her. He stood up to lean against the chair. Close enough to see the delicate curl of her eyelashes, the way her skin glowed under the yellow living room lights. “I could take your mind off it,” he offered. He loved making her forget the world, coming apart under him, sobbing with pleasure, totally his. Loved when she clung to him, every other thought torn away from her mind.

She looked away, instead. Leaned away just a little. “Pass,” she said. She tried to make it sound casual, like their usual banter, but he knew her heart wasn’t in it.

That was ok. He’d learned how to be calm and quiet for her. He reached out, touched her arm, enjoyed the silky steel of her surprisingly strong form. “Or I could just hold you?”

He loved holding her.

Instead, she jerked away from his touch, stood up. What had he done? She was upset, he’d offered comfort. That should have worked.

He hated fucking up.

She walked away from him. She’d just come home – he couldn’t be alone again, with only a memory of her dancing through his mind. Or worse, just a sense of lonely loss, knowing that something was missing from his mind and unable to know what it was.

The hardest days were when she was prowling the city, unnoticeable. He drifted on those days, bereft of purpose, trying to distract himself and failing.

Her hand was on the doorknob. “I’m leaving,” she said.

_No._ He wouldn’t be broke up with. He couldn’t take it.

He reached into her mind, wrapped his power around her, and let go of the doorknob, turned her back around, held her still so he could talk. “You can’t go.”

He felt her anger, trapped behind her frozen face. She flickered her power, and he blinked, dizzy. That momentary change in everything was disorienting. Now her face matched her emotions. So did her voice. “You don’t get to decide that!”

Didn’t she understand? “I need you, Aisha.” She couldn’t go, couldn’t leave him alone again.

That only made her angrier. “Do you have any idea how annoying that is? This was supposed to be _fun_ , Alec. Not a whole thing. Or did you forget that we aren’t dating?”

It wasn’t that he’d forgotten, exactly. More that he tried to ignore that, every chance he got, because he was sure that any day now she’d change her mind and they could be together forever.

Maybe this was when she’d let down that stupid façade. Maybe she just needed to know for sure he loved her too.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

Another mistake. _Fuck_. She took a step back, looked almost disgusted. That wasn’t how she was supposed to react. She was supposed to love him back. “Hell of a time to say _that_ for the first time,” she snapped.

How could he win her back? He stepped forward, closer and closer until he could see the nervous breaths in her chest. Maybe she was just scared. Scared of this new, beautiful thing between them. Scared that he’d planned this all along. “It’s true. I didn’t mean to but – I couldn’t help it. You’re too wonderful. Too beautiful. Too fucking funny. I couldn’t help but fall for you.”

She slipped out his grasp like water, pushed him. He went, pliant for her like always. “Well, I don’t like you back. And I’m still leaving.” She started for the door again.

He felt his heart breaking. Felt his world shattering around him, coming down like a million glass shards, biting into his skin and flaying him alive. He wouldn’t be alone – he _couldn’t_ be alone. “Aisha. I can’t live without you.”

She stopped walking, turned around, searched his face. He thought he might be shaking. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

He didn’t nod, but he didn’t need to. She knew him almost as well as he knew her.

The fight went out of her, and he nearly collapsed from relief.

“I’m staying. Don’t worry. Just- how about you make dinner and I can go take a shower? Something fancy, you haven’t cooked for me in a while.” She smiled at that. He’d learned to cook for her, when she mentioned that she’d wished she could eat home-cooked meals more often. She hadn’t let him cook for her in two weeks, since he’d gone too fast with the romantic candles. This was a wonderful sign. He kissed her (beautiful, ethereal) cheek. He’d do anything she asked, just as long as she stayed. He went into the kitchen, heard the shower turn on a few moment later. She always did love a long shower after a day of dusty prowling.

He’d make comfort food, she seemed to need it. Grilled cheese. He reached out to brush her mind with his, to just graze deep enough to find out if he had time to make fresh tomato soup.

That brush felt like stretching, like twisting around to pick up a pen without getting out of your chair.

She was gone. She’d left. She’d taken the first opportunity and snuck away.

He dropped the pan, let it clatter to the floor. Ran over to the bathroom door, growled at the lock, _punched_ through the cheap door to reach through and unlock it.

Distantly, he realized his knuckles hurt.

His heart hurt more.

He opened the shower curtain, watched the spray fall on nothing for a long moment as he tried to work through what had happened.

A draft wafted through the open window, made him shiver.

He whirled around, a haze of pain and fear. She was breaking up with him. She’d left. She was gone.

She was gone.

He saw himself in the mirror, a crazed glint to his eyes, hair half wet half dry.

Too crazy for anyone to love.

He punched the mirror, and the glass shattered down around him, clattering and breaking and filling his ears with white noise. His knuckles stung, now, glass glinting before it was slowly subsumed by gathering blood.

He sat down, watched the blood pool, pulled the skin more apart when it threatened to stop.

This felt good. It felt like punishment. Like all the pain inside him was drip drip dripping out as he bled on the floor.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, watching the blood, blinking tears out of his vision.

On the couch, long forgotten, a picture of Aisha sleeping still glowed in the gathering gloom.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two will come out at the end of the week, unless I forget. Get ready for Alec's point of view. His head is delightful to write in! 
> 
> Additionally, I'm thinking of dropping a few other works in the near future: I might have a "Kid Win joins the Undersiders" in me, and I certainly have a trippy Negotiator-centric fic that'll be slowly creeping into a dream near you. Worm is a delightful work to write fic for, and I'm hyped to keep going!


End file.
